"A Grand Bond"
Death, or the knowledge of imminent death, rarely coincides with thoughts
of joy, happiness or fondness. As macabre as it sounds, over the past four
months I have witnessed the simple way in which death allows these emotions to
shine through the bleakest of times.
In June of this year, my roommate, Georgia, found out that her
grandfather, 79-year-old George Anderson, had developed a lump in his neck. Unfortunately,
it was close to two and a half months after approaching a doctor that a biopsy
was taken of the lump. During this time, the lump had continued to grow at an
extraordinary rate. The results of the biopsy revealed to the family that the
lump was in fact an extremely aggressive melanoma. During the course of
deliberation over what plan to take, to remove the melanoma, George was
hospitalised due to the alarming and rapid growth of the melanoma. The doctors
performed a tracheostomy, as it was near impossible for George to execute
simple everyday tasks that many take for granted, such as eating, swallowing,
breathing and conversing. Radiation was a possibility but as Georgia explained
to me, “it was becoming more and more
obvious that he didn’t have much time and there’s no point in wasting that time
being sick.” George was then provided with a feeding tube as he could not
eat solids, but as that was only a temporary solution the tube has been removed
now. In the last week and a half, he has decided to stop all hydration he had
been receiving.
The purpose of this story is not to paint a depressing portrait of an
elderly man dying in hospital; it is to illustrate the beautiful bond between a
granddaughter and her grandfather. Furthermore, it demonstrates a family bond
is not based on shared DNA, as George is Georgia’s grandmother’s second
husband, and therefore her step grandfather.
The first bond Georgia recalls her and her grandfather share is a love
for coin collections. “I was always
really inquisitive about everything, so when Pop said oh I have a coin
collection he [would]…show me and
tell me this is from this country…and I guess because I love Pop so much I
wanted to have that common ground so I've been collecting coins for as long as
I can remember as well.” She then tells me about some of George’s coins,
and on previous occasions has proudly shown off various coins she has acquired
for her coin collection. She once explained, at work she would exchange
Federation coins customers gave her for her own so she could further expand her
collection.
Coin collecting is not the only common interest Georgia and George share.
George is a member of the Masonic Lodge, and has been so for more than fifty
years. The Lodge is a freemason group, which not only helps its members but
also contributes to various charities work. Georgia tells me that The Lodge
provided an electrician, free of charge, to help with some problems around her
grandparent’s home while George has been in hospital. She goes on to say, “Apart form all the other stuff Pop and I had
in common it was my freakishness of wanting to know about The Lodge. I couldn’t
tell you the first time I ever found out about it, I just don’t remember… for
as long as I can remember I’ve been obsessed with it.” For a web design
project in TAFE Georgia choose The Lodge as the topic to centre her website on,
a small example of her obsession with this captivating group. She relays one
website she came across while researching which claimed to reveal the secrets
and inner workings of this society. Georgia explains that she could have sat
there and found out everything she had always craved to know but the only way
she wants find out the secret movements of The Lodge is if George tells her. “It’s something that I can never be part of,
so talking to my Pop about it not only gave us good conversation and good time
together but I was so intrigued and I’m so nosey that it was something we’ve
always be able to sit down for hours [and talk] about,” she says.
Even in George’s illness, the bond between granddaughter and grandfather
has not faulted. After a previous surgery in 2010, while Georgia’s grandmother was
on a trip that had been booked prior to the surgery, Georgia took George to his
follow up appointments, and helped him with household tasks such as mowing the lawn.
She explains, “even though it doesn’t
sound like it, it was good time together, I felt really good that I was at that
age where I could help him.”
 |
| Newborn Georgia with proud grandfather George |
It is not a common occurrence in today’s society that a 19-year-old young
woman and a 79-year-old man could share such a strong bond, and a lifetime
filled with so many joyous memories. Georgia tells me “Pop and I have just always been really good friends, like best friends,”
and I do not doubt it. Even prior to his illness Georgia often spoken of her
grandfather with the highest praise and with such tenderness that would make
any grandparent envious. The story of George and Georgia illustrates that while
death is not beautiful, life is, and in death it is the beautiful relationships
and life a person has lived we should remember.
Georgia concluded with a poignant sentence, “people that have just met him [George] admire him and people that know him adore him.”
N.B: the image included was provided by George's family for the purpose of this assignment
